


Mamihlapinatapai

by paraluman



Category: Buhay Kolehiyo, SSU, Sexy Sexy Universities
Genre: M/M, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, surprise otp gold nugget at the end ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 02:04:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10934700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paraluman/pseuds/paraluman
Summary: Mamihlapinatapai(Yaghan)n.: refers to the wordless, meaningful look shared by two people who both want to initiate something, but are reluctant to do so.





	Mamihlapinatapai

**Author's Note:**

> i am absolute neosalle trash, but neo & phil are just so fucking cute together?? i needed to get this out of my system after seeing [this post](https://www.facebook.com/sexysexyuniversities/photos/a.1875383206030625.1073741828.1760706184164995/1938535166382095/?type=3&theater) from mod A. i wrote bits of it on different times, in different moods, so if it seems like it's written by different people, it isn't lol. please excuse this flowery mess of a fic.
> 
> this was supposed to be a quick and filthy drabble. how tf did it become like this? part-character study, part-phil waxing poetic over neo? or phil being thirsty af over neo (most likely this one tbh). who knows.
> 
> was almost titled 'precipice' but i didn't think that neo & phil getting together would've been such a disaster lol. this is the 'what if neo and salle haven't met yet and philneo happened?' that i've always asked myself. there is also a complementary hint of the otp at the end because i couldn't resist.
> 
> enjoy!

It was sweltering hot inside the club. His shirt stuck to his skin uncomfortably, sweat pooling at the base of his neck as the air conditioning units scattered around the club sputtered pathetically, trying to overcome the heat created by the mass of bodies enjoying themselves on the dance floor.

 

Neo wasn’t faring much better. The slender boy was still dressed in his usual button-up, but at least his sleeves were short, as were his chinos. He’d unfastened the top two buttons of his shirt a while ago, exposing his long, pale throat and his defined collarbones.

 

Phil’s eyes kept getting drawn to the exposed skin, following the trail of a single bead of sweat on Neo’s face. It slowly traversed the smooth curve of Neo’s chin, meandering along his Adam’s apple, rolling down the smooth line of his neck, following the jut of his collarbone, before finally, finally disappearing into the dark blue of his shirt. Phil felt his mouth go dry, suddenly finding it harder to breathe.

 

He almost jumped when he felt Neo’s hand on his thigh. His gaze darted up, finding questioning blue eyes trained on his face.

 

“Are you okay?” Neo asked, concern in the furrow of his brows.

 

Phil felt guilt climb up his chest. Here he was, creeping on his friend while getting said friend worried about him.

 

 _Saan na ‘yung ipinagmamalaki mong dangal, Phil?_ he inwardly scolded himself. _Utak ang pairalin, hindi kalibu—_

 

“Phil?” Neo prompted, squeezing his thigh.

 

This time, Phil stiffened up, before quickly forcing himself to relax as he waved off Neo’s concern with an awkward laugh. “A-ayos lang ako! Mainit lang kasi,” he lied, fanning his face with his hand as he grinned at Neo.

 

“Gusto mo ba lumabas?” Neo asked, still not removing his hand from Phil’s thigh. Phil felt exceptionally aware of that hand. Very, unfairly much so.

 

“Okay lang talaga ako, Neo,” Phil reassured him. “Tsaka baka mawalan tayo ng table. Tagal kasi nila Mia, eh.”

 

Neo’s phone lit up with a new notification. Finally, Neo removed his hand to pick up the device. Phil breathed a sigh of relief as he watched the other boy read the text message.

 

“Nasa may Cubao na raw sila,” Neo informed him.

 

They were waiting for the rest of their friends to arrive at Vanity. Phil picked Neo up in his Vios, passing by Regis where the other boy was currently renting an apartment. Mia would usually also hitch a ride with him, but she was coming with Iya from Makati. Tomas would catch up with them after his filming for a project in Binondo. Addie told them that she would be bringing a few of her friends from Taft, and they were on their way, as well.

 

They were the first ones to arrive, being the nearest. Phil wished that they could have gone later, if only to escape the suffocating heat of the place.

 

He turned towards Neo, only to find that the other boy was already looking at him. He was fiddling with his phone, biting his full bottom lip, looking like he wanted to ask Phil a question. He appeared overheated, cheeks flushed a fetching pink, skin glistening with a light sheen of sweat. Phil felt his mouth water. He discretely swallowed.

 

“Are _you_ okay?” Phil asked him, ignoring the stirrings of heat simmering at the base of his belly that was completely unrelated to the temperature inside the club.

 

Neo hesitantly nodded, before pausing in the middle of the action as if in thought, and then shaking his head minutely.

 

“Want to go outside?” Phil asked him this time, concern putting a damper on his inappropriate thoughts.

 

Neo shook his head again, looking down. His long eyelashes cast shadows on his cheeks. He was still distractedly biting his lip, and Phil can’t help how magnetized his gaze was to the tempting sight.

 

Slowly, Neo peeked up. He opened his mouth as if to say something, before closing it again, pursing his lips. He seemed so conflicted, Phil felt his concern go up a notch.

 

“May problema ba?” Phil asked, scooting his chair closer so that he was now fully facing the other boy. Their legs were brushing against one another’s, with Phil’s bracketing Neo’s crossed legs.

 

“Do you think…” Neo trailed off, looking to the side and drawing his shoulders together.

 

“Do I think…?” Phil prompted, eyebrows scrunching up as he waited for Neo to continue.

 

Neo took a deep breath, before finally blurting out, “Doyouthinkwecouldgetsomefrappe?” in an excited mumble of words, looking equal parts hopeful and embarrassed.

 

“What?” Phil asked, unable to catch the question at the sudden blast of music from the DJ and the consequent cheer from the crowd. He leaned closer towards Neo, tilting his head to catch the other’s words.

 

Neo leaned forward, too, placing his lips on Phil’s ear. Phil resisted the urge to shiver, feeling the hot breath puffing softly against his sensitive ear. Instead, he balled his fists, digging his fingernails into his palms as he beat down the compulsion to turn his head _just so_ , to taste those lips he had been staring at for times too many to count tonight.

 

 _Punyeta naman,_  Phil groaned in his mind.

 

“Go out with me? I want Starbs!” Neo told him, voice louder than usual to talk over the blaring music.

 

For a moment, Phil’s heart stopped at Neo’s request. It resumed beating when he realized that the other boy meant he wanted to go out _now_ and was probably just thirsty and craving for his favorite drink. Neo wasn’t fond of alcohol to begin with, and would always prefer a cold, sweet drink over beer any day, regardless that they were already in a club.

 

It probably didn’t help that there was a Starbucks branch just a floor below.

 

Phil gave a helpless laugh, turning his head and finding a pouting Neo staring hopefully up at him. The Atenean was usually so deadpan and straight-faced, his expression right that moment would likely shock those who don’t him too well.

 

With that kind of irresistible face, who was Phil to deny him?

 

“Sige na nga,” Phil caved in easily. Forget saving a table; Mia and the others could suck it up for being late. Whoever suggested going to Vanity, anyway?

 

“Mia did,” Neo replied, a triumphant smirk on his lips.

 

“Oh, I said that out loud?” Phil laughed.

 

Neo giggled with him.

 

What a devastatingly cute giggle. Phil was so screwed.

 

“She wanted to introduce Iya to the ‘party life’,” Neo said, crooking his fingers to make air-quotes, “and T. Morato is the nearest midpoint for everyone.”

 

Phil snorted. That sounded like Mia, alright. He stood up, and Neo followed him downstairs to escape the stifling atmosphere.

 

Both of them released sighs of relief once they cleared the door, filling their lungs with the fresh air outside. They went down to the second level of the building, where the aroma of freshly roasted coffee beans permeated the air.

 

The Starbucks Reserve at Tomas Morato was invitingly bright, with warm lighting fixtures and ambient coffee shop music softly filling the space. Only a few tables were occupied. It posed such a striking contrast to the club just above their heads, Phil found it difficult to reconcile both places existing in the same building.

 

Neo headed straight for the counter, intent on getting his fix of cold, sweet heaven in a cup. Phil followed him at a more sedate pace, amusement filling him as he watched the almost dogged intensity the shorter boy showed towards ordering his favorite beverage. It was a miracle that Neo was as fit as he was, considering his frequent consumption of frappuccinos and the terrifying amounts of sugar they contained in a single serving.

 

Well, not that Phil himself can talk, anyway. His body wasn’t the type to accumulate fat, no matter how much he ate. Thank the gods for good genes.

 

When he came up behind the other boy, Phil noticed the dazed, starstruck look on the barista’s face as she stared at her arrestingly handsome customer. Neo often had that effect on the people around him—Phil would know, he often fell victim to the other boy’s stunning looks. His eyes narrowed, an irrational feeling of possessiveness clawing its way out of his chest.

 

And so, without thought, he wrapped his arms around Neo’s waist and placed his chin on Neo’s shoulder, staring blankly at the startled girl.

 

Then, his brain came back online.

 

_Teka lang—_

 

He still looked calm on the outside, but inside, he was freaking out. Regret and embarrassment filled him a second later, because _what the actual fuck, self?!_

 

Phil cursed in his mind, stiffening up as he felt Neo tense at the sudden contact.

 

While he and Neo were pretty comfortable around each other, they weren’t really the type of friends who were touchy-feely with one another, barring the occasional drunken smooch on the cheek and one-armed hugs for greetings.

 

Phil was already preparing to slide away, feeling mortified and running apologetic excuses in his mind to present to the other boy when Neo laid an arm over his. Soft fingers curled around his hand, tugging gently. Phil slowly, wonderingly turned his palm up, allowing Neo to lace their fingers together. The shorter boy relaxed and leaned back, tilting his head to the side to tell Phil, as if nothing out of the usual happened at all, as if Phil didn’t just cross some line, out of the friendly and right into an unknown something-more: “What do you want? Libre ko.”

 

Their faces were so close Phil could see the darker flecks of blue in Neo’s bright eyes. In typical Neo fashion, the other boy calmly defused the tension without an ounce of effort. Phil felt his body relax along Neo’s, and he more firmly held the brunet in his arms. He flicked his gaze forward in contemplation. The barista looked flustered as she stared at the two attractive men embracing in front of her. Phil could actually sympathize with her. He was pretty flustered, himself.

 

He didn’t know what Neo’s actions mean, but he wasn’t planning to stop him any time soon.

 

“I’ll have a Java Chip, then,” Phil spoke into Neo’s hair, but his gaze was fixed on the barista. His tone was friendly, with no evidence of the irrational possessiveness or panic from just moments before. It had effectively dwindled, superseded by the more pleasant and thrilling feeling of having Neo in his arms. Besides, Phil was usually a sensible person, and being irritated with a stranger for admiring his friend, something that the barista couldn’t help, was ridiculous.

 

“And a Vanilla Bean Crème for me, please. Both grande,” Neo told the barista, reaching for his wallet with his free hand. Phil let go of his other hand, unwinding an arm from the other boy’s torso, but keeping the other around his waist. Neo still didn’t seem to mind.

 

“Name, sir?” The barista finally got herself together, enough to attend to the register. She still won’t meet their eyes, but would occasionally peek at her customers before darting her eyes away in embarrassment.

 

“Neo.” The brunet extended his Gold Starbucks card, along with a one thousand-peso note.

 

The barista rung up their purchase, handing over the receipt along with Neo’s change and card before telling them to kindly wait while she prepared their drinks.

 

They chose to sit at one of the tall tables by the window. Phil sat on a bar stool, and Neo sat on the remaining one across from him. A fairly comfortable silence settled over them, but it was clearly charged with some tension.

 

Phil had questions, but he couldn’t quite put them into words. He envied Neo’s blasé countenance, and not for the first time, wondered what went on in that pretty little head of his.

 

Phil was often touted as both intelligent and perceptive, but Neo was a difficult person to parse, even when he wasn’t trying to block the world out. It was just in his nature: the ever impassive, but brilliant Atenean. The other boy often looked unconcerned, but he was actually a very passionate and sensitive individual. He was one of the people outside Phil’s circle of friends from UP who can keep up with him, often discussing social issues and radical ideologies without going into a rampage as other people who looked at critical thinking as an affront to their beliefs were wont to do.

 

Neo was a breath of fresh air, offering calm and logical rebuttals to Phil’s impassioned discourse, something that was sadly lost in the echo chamber that UP sometimes suffers from devolving into.

 

Speaking with Neo was always a treat to the mind. He was clever and insightful, open-minded but not easily swayed nor impressed by clinical logic, always integrating the human perspective in his seldomly expressed opinions.

 

Now, being with Neo was a treat to the heart, as well. Phil didn’t know when the attraction started. He’d always known that his friend was good-looking, just as one would know that an artwork was beautiful, all in detached interest. It was an objective admiration; but somehow, along the way, it turned into this riveting magnetism that Phil now couldn’t ignore.

 

Judging by Neo’s casual reciprocation, Phil wasn’t the only one feeling the pull between them. He just had to figure out if pursuing a relationship with Neo would be good, at the risk of losing an amazing friend in the case of a fallout.

 

He was startled out of his thoughts when the barista called Neo’s name.

 

“I got it,” Neo said, walking to the counter and quickly bringing their frappes to their table. He extended Phil’s drink, and Phil reached out, lightly brushing his fingertips against the other’s. The touch lingered for a second, before both of them pulled away.

 

“Lamats!”

 

“No prob.”

 

Neo sat, happily sipping his cold drink. The flush had receded from his cheeks, and Neo’s skin returned to its regular paleness. Phil smiled as he watched the brunet, sipping his own frappe in moderation. The happiness that sweet, cold beverages always brought to Neo simultaneously exasperated and amused their friends, with the running joke that Neo subsisted on only a diet of frappuccinos and nothing else. (Of course, this was a lie. Phil once watched the slender boy decimate two servings of the lasagna from CBTL, with a pastry for dessert to boot.)

 

Phil secretly found Neo’s love for the beverage adorable. His eyes would always light up, even if the rest of his face would stay in that idle, cool set that gave nothing away.

 

A light brush against the tips of his fingers brought Phil out of his musings. Phil looked up, his lips automatically quirking upwards as Neo directed a small smile at him. He upturned his hand, gently caressing those long, slender fingers, fitting his larger, lightly calloused palm over Neo’s soft one. He watched, fascinated, as pink blossomed once again on the blue-eyed boy’s pale cheeks.

 

Phil’s heart was beating fast. The atmosphere was different from the one in the club. It was more subdued, soft, but no less intense. He can feel the electricity, where skin met skin in an innocent touch, where Neo’s fingers were curled against his palm, where the pads of his own brushed against Neo’s wrist, feeling the answering beat underneath the thin, white skin.

 

The air was hushed, as if in confidence, ripe with unsaid words.

 

Neo was biting his lip again. It was a bad habit, both for him and the others around him who are affected by the sight. As always, Phil’s gaze was drawn to his mouth, but he brought it back up quickly to avoid bringing attention to it.

 

Neo caught his staring, anyway, his mouth parting with a little _oh_ escaping his lips in realization. Phil curled up a little inside in embarrassment, but he still met Neo’s eyes. He gathered up the courage to say something, anything, just to break the silence.

 

“Neo—”

 

“Phil—”

 

They both clamped their mouths shut. Phil winced as his teeth clacked. Neo blinked at him, before huffing out a laugh. Phil followed him not a second later, laughing at their situation, but laughing at himself even more.

 

 _Palpak mo talaga forever, Phil_ , he thought.

 

“We’re so ridiculous,” Neo commented dryly.

 

“Sinabi mo pa,” Phil agreed.

 

“It’s true naman eh.” Neo’s bottom lip jutted out in indignation. What a fucking cute kid.

 

“May sinabi ba akong hindi totoo?” Phil raised an eyebrow challengingly.

 

Neo tsked. “Ikaw muna,” he said, sweeping up his frappe to slurp the remaining contents.

 

“Ah, kasi…” Phil grappled for words. He already lost his momentum from a while ago, and it was difficult to find his courage again along with the right words to say. He licked his lips. “Well, Neo… I think… well, I know, you know—Fuck, this is hard,” Phil groaned.

 

Neo cocked an eyebrow at him, playfully wiggling his fingers in Phil’s hold. He’d already finished his drink, so he leaned over to snatch up Phil’s neglected Java Chip. Phil helplessly watched as Neo wrapped his lips around the straw, sipping as if Phil didn’t drink from that exact same place. He put down the cup, only to use the other end of the straw to scoop up some whipped cream, bringing it to his waiting mouth.

 

Neo closed his eyes in bliss, and Phil nearly died, because Neo already had him undone, with minimal effort, Typical Neo™, and he probably didn’t even know that he was doing it.

 

 _Mamshie, nahulog na po si acoe_ , Phil whimpered pathetically, closing his eyes and praying to Nietzche, Kant, Sartre, Sinhababu, maybe Jesus and to God Almighty, and most especially to Oble, for deliverance. Because the night was still early, he can’t turn tail and forever hide himself in his _lungga_ , can’t leave his gorgeous crush with all the dangerous predators lurking around, and he was already, irrevocably, completely fucked.

 

He can’t even say that it was the nice kind of ‘fucked,’ because he still has a bad case of blue balls.

 

“What? What is it?” Neo asked, tilting his head in confusion.

 

“Wala,” Phil deadpanned.

 

“Well, ano na?” Neo prompted.

 

Phil still didn’t know what to say, but he was fortunately saved by Neo’s phone lighting up, vibrating on the table with an incoming call. Neo withdrew his hand from Phil’s and picked it up, swiping across the screen before bringing the phone to his ear.

 

“Mia? You’re near? Where? Oh, Phil and I just got something from Starbs, but—what are you snapping at me for? It was hot!” Neo continued on talking to Mia on the phone.

 

Phil listened with half an ear, more preoccupied with the lucky save he was unknowingly given by Mia. He wanted to sort out his thoughts first before confessing to Neo, because he didn’t want to say the wrong things and possibly ruin their friendship.

 

A few seconds later, his own phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and stared at the unknown number.

 

Shrugging, he answered, “Hello? Sino ‘to?”

 

 _“Phil! Si Addie ‘to. Nasaan na kayo?_ ” a female voice said.

 

“Nasa Starbucks sa ‘baba. Nasa loob na ba kayo?” Phil guessed, hearing the load, thrumming bass of the club music from the caller’s end.

 

 _“Yup! Mag-order na ba kami ng drinks?_ ” Addie asked.

 

“G lang. Paakyat na kami ni Neo,” Phil said, shooting a glance at the aforementioned male who just ended his call. Neo nodded, pocketing his phone as he stood up. Phil followed him, holding Neo’s hand as the shorter male reached out to him.

 

 _“Okay. Malapit kami sa bar sa may kanan papasok ng entrance_.”

 

“Oks. See you!” Phil said, ending the call.

 

“Who was that?” Neo asked curiously.

 

“Si Addie. Kakarating lang ata nila. Nasaan na sila Mia?” Phil asked Neo as they exited the shop.

 

“Kamuning,” Neo simply answered.

 

They walked up the staircase that way, hand in hand. They showed the bouncers their hand stamps and were easily readmitted into the nightclub. It was still as stiflingly hot as before, especially so when they had to navigate through the thrashing bodies to get to the bar.

 

Phil lead Neo through the crowd, firmly tugging his hand along as he searched around for his friend. Finally, he spotted Addie at a table a couple of meters to their left.

 

He turned around to inform Neo, but suddenly, somebody bumped hard into their arms, and the excited rush of the crowd pushed them outside of the dance floor, causing them to release their holds on each other’s hand. Phil stumbled back, but he managed to steady himself before he fell. Neo wasn’t as lucky, falling forward to the floor in a tangle of limbs with a man.

 

“Shit! Sorry! Okay ka lang ba?” the stranger asked Neo, who bore the brunt of the collision. Neo was sprawled all over the guy’s lap, one hand braced against the floor by the stranger’s hip, while the other was braced against the guy’s chest.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Neo said, wincing as he dazedly pushed himself off of the guy. Phil reached out to help him, but the other guy was faster, getting up and offering his hand to Neo.

 

Neo hesitantly took it. The guy’s arm muscles bunched up as he pulled Neo to his feet. He pulled Neo closer as he scanned the brunet’s body for injuries in the dim light. “Are you sure?” he asked, thick brows furrowing as he looked concernedly at the slighter boy.

 

“Yes,” Neo confirmed, brushing off his chinos and his knees, which were slightly red.

 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” the guy apologized, running a hand through his hair. Strangely enough, he was still holding onto Neo’s hand.

 

Phil snapped out of his inaction and walked forward, grasping Neo’s arm to guide him around to face him, consequently disentangling him from the guy. “Okay ka lang ba talaga, Neo?” he asked, looking pointedly at Neo’s knees.

 

“Okay lang talaga ako, Phil,” Neo reassured him, smiling slightly at the taller boy. “Just some dirt, see?”

 

He patted his knees, which really did look fine apart from the light scraping, then dusted off his hands.

 

“Just watch where you’re going next time,” Phil told the stranger, placing a hand on the small of Neo’s back. Neo leaned into the touch, looking curiously at the stranger.

 

The guy was about the same height as the Atenean, but more sturdily built, with broad shoulders and a firm torso that tapered to a trim waist. His black, v-necked shirt fit him like a glove, and combined with his dark eyes and slicked back hair, he completed the roguish, attractive look of a serial fuckboy.

 

Phil smelled danger.

 

“Yeah, sorry talaga,” the guy said sheepishly, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. “Anything I can do to make up for it?”

 

“It’s fine,” Neo said, now smiling at the stranger.

 

“Neo!” someone called.

 

The three turned to the voice. It was Mia, standing by three tables that were pushed together. Iya was already there, along with Addie, and a boy and three girls who Phil didn’t recognize. They’ve apparently already arrived during the time the scuffle happened.

 

Phil and Neo walked towards the table, and the stranger was right beside them, striding in the same direction. Phil raised an eyebrow at him, and the guy shrugged.

 

“Kilala mo si Addie?“ Phil guessed.

 

“Friend ng sister ko,” the guy simply said.

 

When they arrived by the table, Mia immediately launched into introductions. “Phil, Neo, this is Yue,” she said, waving a hand towards the bespectacled girl. The girl smiled and waved at them. “Si Faye, Ace at Cess,” she continued, pointing to the the tall, slender girl, to the boy who resembled Faye, and the girl with bright violet-streaked hair and full bangs, respectively.

 

“Hi!” Cess chirped, while Faye and Ace nodded at them.

 

Neo and Phil smiled back, reaching forward to shake hands with everyone at the table.

 

“Aaand _that_ ,” Mia drawled, “is Salle, Cess’s brother.”

 

Mia pointed to the guy beside them.

 

“Phil,” the maroon-eyed male introduced himself, tone neutral, offering his hand.

 

“Salle,” the other male dryly said, firmly shaking his hand.

 

They stood like that for a moment, hands tight around one another, stance and stare challenging, before letting go. Neo stepped in between them, oblivious.

 

Phil warily watched the interaction, but kept quiet.

 

“I’m Neo." The brunet extended his hand.

 

“Nice to meet you, Neo,” Salle said, smiling as he gently squeezed the boy’s slim hand.

 

Neo smiled back.

 

“Same here.”

**Author's Note:**

> moral lesson/what i learned thru this writing exercise: i am absolute neosalle trash. like, half-way thru i wanted to replace phil's name with salle's, edit the interactions to fit them and make the fic neosalle ahdbjkanfkf;; (also that i would prolly never post nsfw stuff for this fandom bc there are a lot of young impressionable eyes following BuKo. they will all stay in my drive, unseen. maybe)
> 
> edit: i love philneo/neophil/ w/e u call it!!!!! someday i will write another ficcie for them fab katip boys <3 this [post](https://www.facebook.com/sexysexyuniversities/photos/a.1875383206030625.1073741828.1760706184164995/1943150102587268/?type=3&theater) from mod A is just. gah. a lot of ideas for fics came from this alone lol. also featuring neo's bubble butt (get it? get it? HAHAHAHA excuse me while i bury myself—) and mia the goddess ♡
> 
> please tell me i'm not the only one who likes philneo/neophil!!!! and sorry for rambling pweh ❀


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